Since my journey of a love-based life began, I have had amazing successes and spectacular failures.
Why can we all take several great leaps toward success, only to fall backward shortly after?
This week, after almost a season of watching my group of friends paddleboard (while I trailed behind in my inflatable kayak), I finally took paddleboarding lessons. Legs shaking, with both fear and excitement, I managed to stand on my paddleboard and began to paddle a bit. That is when I was taught one of the basic techniques: Focus on where you want to go.
When you stare at something, you start heading that way - whether you want to or not. I was intent on heading out onto the lake but when I was observing the rocks by the lighthouse, that is where my board went.
What would happen if, instead of just rushing into the start of the day, we took time to pause and intentionally choose where we want to "go" that day? If we purposely focused on the direction of love, kindness, non-judgment, and compassion, how would things be different?
When we see we are heading towards the "rocks", we stop and re-center our focus.
Neighbour screaming outside on his phone for the third time this week while you are trying to work? (this is my personal struggle right now) Frustration, anger, indignation!! Doesn't he care that people are working from home during a pandemic?!! Why is he always yelling?!! What a jerk! I should yell at him to shut up!!
No, wait, Melanie, you are heading for the rocks!! STOP. Re-center to compassion; the poor man has mental health issues. It must be a really difficult experience for him. I notice I am instantly calmer
A simple practice but it is definitely not easy. This leads me to a second technique I learned in paddleboarding: face your wave head-on.
I was starting to feel much more confident on my board and I was moving out into the lake when a jet skier started whizzing around, creating waves that threatened my newly-achieved balance. Luckily, the instructor was right beside me and told me to ride right into the wave, facing it head-on. Riding parallel may seem like the easier choice when you are fighting the waves but, if you don't want to fall, you need to face the challenge head-on with a clear intention.
It's easy to be distracted when learning something new and fall back to old habits. I had successfully made it almost through the hour and a half lesson without falling when I started chatting with the instructor about dogs (my personal "SQUIRREL"!!!) and I stopped paying attention to what I was doing and I fell, crashing hard on to the paddleboard. Now, that got my attention. Oops.
Did I give up and stay down? No, of course, I got right back up and tried again. When making a change, it's crucial to be kind to ourselves and accept that failure IS going to happen. It is especially important to get up right away before we lose our confidence that we can do it. If you are like me and think too much about it, you will start to assume that you can't. This is exactly what I had been telling myself about paddleboarding when my friend suggested I join them. I have terrible balance, I will not be able to do it. Yet, I was wrong. We can be wrong about our ability to change how we act, how we feel.
We are all capable of more. It's just practice.
So, what is my verdict on paddleboarding? I bought a board!
